How can you help those in pain?

How can you take action when people you know are hurting?

When someone or a group of people we know are going through something painful, so often we don’t take action out of fear. We’re afraid of saying the wrong thing, doing the wrong thing, looking ignorant, offending someone, taking a side against someone else, using insensitive language – the list of fears goes on and on.

Or perhaps we come up with an idea of how to take action – but then we question ourselves, thinking it’s not enough. We decide it’s too late, too small, too insignificant, not the best choice. And so we wait – for the perfect moment, the perfect opportunity, or the perfect plan that we hope will appear as time goes on.

And then somehow, despite the most positive intentions and genuine compassion we feel for those in pain – our fears and insecurities, our false stories and limiting beliefs, and our desire to be ‘perfect’ become so overwhelming that we do nothing at all. And, as more time passes, we might hope this won’t be noticed by the person who is hurting. We might even begin to tell ourselves that staying under the radar might be the most respectful thing we can do.

But that inaction is noticed by those in pain. I have heard from several people who have reported feelings of isolation and being abandoned by even their closest friends. Although so many of the dynamics above have likely been in play – for them, being on the receiving end of silence has still been crushingly painful. Your love and show of support, however 'imperfect' it might feel would mean the world to them.

If you would like to take action, but have struggled with the HOW, here are five ideas for inspiration.

1️⃣ Just check in. Check in with anyone you know who is affected by the events of the past week. Checking in could just look like telling them you love them and are here for them.
2️⃣ Get curious. If you feel you don’t know enough – set some time aside to learn. Read and/or listen to a variety of sources to broaden your perspective. Ask questions. Engage in conversations. Approach your learning with an open mind and heart.
3️⃣ Donate. If you are not sure where to donate, ask the people in your life who are in pain about the charities or organizations that are meaningful to them.
4️⃣ Share the action you are taking with others. We are often inspired by the actions of others we know – be the inspiration!
5️⃣ Be kind. We all struggle at times. Our struggles are often below the surface. There has never been a better time to be kind and gentle with everyone you encounter – and to choose a loving approach.