Showing ourselves compassion
Do you find that your negative self-talk increases this time of year?
In our 10 years in business, Fall has always been our busiest season. As mid-November hits, we’re typically carrying a massive project load (90% of which needs to be wrapped before year-end) while briefs for new year projects also begin pouring in. This results in a December flurry of briefing sessions, proposal writing, and new project set-up and planning work conducted while simultaneously finalizing year-end deliverables. This isn’t just a client service dynamic. In my previous life at a large CPG company, Fall was equally as full and fast paced. And this dynamic shows up across a host of other industries as well.
And ironically, this period where most people’s workloads are at their absolute max falls smack dab in the middle of both holiday and cold & flu seasons – and all the demands and strain that each of those seasons provide. It’s a lot!
I haven’t come across anyone in the past few weeks who hasn’t mentioned experiencing some level of overwhelm and/or a feeling of being on the verge of burnout. But another theme I’ve noticed is the remarkably self-deprecating tone of these conversations (matching that of the voice in my own head in recent days!)
Instead of praising ourselves for managing what is likely a superhuman load during this time of year, we tend to focus on all the areas we’re falling short. We say things like: “I haven’t even started...”, “I haven’t even thought about…” “I’ve barely been able to…” – fill in the blanks with everything from gift shopping to card writing to holiday meal planning to exercising, etc.
But in a season where we are inundated with family and social gatherings that, although often wonderful, also demand a lot of energy and present countless opportunities for triggers and emotional strain – perhaps the kindest and most important thing we can do for ourselves is to show ourselves some compassion. As Jack Kornfield said: “If your compassion does not include yourself it is incomplete.”
So, over the next few days, as you stretch yourself thin managing your endless personal and professional to do list and start to notice the incessant voice in your head reminding you of all the ways you’re not stacking up – try to catch yourself, disrupt the pattern, and thank yourself for all the things you are absolutely nailing. I bet that list is pretty long too.