A new definition of humility

I thought I understood humility… until three recent moments expanded my thinking.

On LinkedIn, we often see humility framed around achievement:
“I’m humbled by this award."
"I'm humbled by this praise."
"I'm humbled by this opportunity.”

Those words have always felt a little off to me. Both in their sole focus on "I" and in the subtle suggestion that humility means dimming our own light so it doesn’t shine too brightly for others.

A few weeks ago, I was at an event when my good friend suddenly ran from our dinner table into the hall, choking. He returned minutes later, dazed, having blacked out briefly. Moments later, a man slipped quietly into our table and began chatting as if nothing unusual had happened. It was only when someone else walked by and pointed it out that we realized: this man had just performed the Heimlich and saved my friend’s life. And he hadn’t even mentioned it.

Last week at a mastermind, a speaker deliver an extremely moving presentation. When we all showered him with praise and applause, he didn’t bask in his brilliance. Instead, he immediately poured gratitude onto the person who had given him the opportunity to speak in the first place.

At the same event, I heard the story of comedian Matt Rife. In 2022, he and his friend Paul Elia were invited to perform at the Just for Laughs Festival. The festival only agreed to cover Elia’s trip. Many performers might have refused on principle, insisting they deserved equal treatment. But Rife humbled himself enough to pay his own way — to bet on the opportunity, not his ego. That weekend, their show was a hit and a TikTok clip he posted went viral, launching his career. He now has ~60 million social media followers.

Each of these examples taught me something.
✨ Humility isn’t about dimming your light.
It’s about recognizing that your light shines inside a much bigger story.

For the man who performed the Heimlich, the story was service.
For the speaker, the story was gratitude.
For Rife, the story was humility as openness, and a willingness not to let pride close a door on his dreams.

And as I wrote this, I noticed all three examples were from men (which made me curious!). Maybe these examples stood out because they came from men operating within a more traditional definition of achievement: service, performance, success. And maybe that’s what struck me.

💡 That humility doesn’t weaken those qualities; it refines them.

It’s what makes strength trustworthy, power generous, and success human.

So now, I’m committed to approaching milestones differently.
When I reach one, I want to pause. Not to make it smaller, but to see the bigger picture around it.
The people who opened doors.
The fortunate timing.
The invisible threads that made it possible.

Maybe humility isn’t about being less proud of what we’ve done, but being more aware of how deeply connected we are in doing it.